GRACE RODRIGUEZ

By Sarah Joyner

 

I didn’t want to be you anymore.

You were scared, petrified, to be alone.

To be alone was worse than death.

You were dependent, not on material things but on emotional things.

You sought approval above all else;

You changed yourself for that approval.

To not be alone,

You changed.

You became a different person.

You became trapped inside that jail you called your brain,

Imprisoned by your own thoughts.

You saw the world passing you by,

But all you could do was watch everyone else live their lives.

You wondered why you couldn’t live yours,

And then you remembered, you were trapped by your thoughts:

They consumed you, lied to you.

They told you that you would never be enough,

They told you that you would never succeed.

They told you that you would never be happy again.

You stopped trying, trying to be happy, trying to succeed.

You accepted your life sentence.

And you went back to watching from a distance,

As everyone lived their “happy” lives.

I didn’t want to be you anymore.

Only in death could I find happiness.

Death was the only escape.

In death I am at peace, you are at peace, we are at peace.

 

 

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